Rolling Stone
"The forceful vocals of Thruster, the comical stumbling of Vas Deferenz, the deafening thumping of Magnum, the total refusal of Pastey to learn the songs and the relatively strong possibility that was Smith, this is what makes the Maulers!'

Circus Magazine
"Wow! These guys are still alive? We haven't run as article on them since that Black Oak Arkansas issue!"

International Wine Taster Monthly
"although we applaud his vigor and the increase in sales worldwide, we had absolutely nothing to do with the Vas Deferenz incident."

Catholic Times
"If this band and their fans don't get the Pope to rethink that birth control thing, then nothing will!

Pro Drummer Magazine
"Are you sure that was him? I mean really. I couldn't see a think through the smoke. Okay, I'll take your word for it. It did sound like him.... I guess."

Creem Magazine
"To see these guys end their tour is a crime. Why can't we have more over-the-hill rockers showing off their astounding drinking ability? VIVA VAS DEFERENZ!"

Adult Video News
"Where was all the skanks?"