Announcements

The official MaulerMania Video has been posted!

Thanks for sending your pictures! They have been posted to the MaulerMania page. Pictures from MaulerMania can continue to be submitted via email to: themaulersrock@gmail.com.

Welcome to the new maulers.com!

Offline since 2007, the website is back- renewed, rejuvenized, reanimated and resurrected for your browsing pleasure. If you already know about the Maulers, then the return of the website will be like getting reacquainted with a long lost friend. On the other hand, you could be asking the question: Who the fuck are the Maulers? Don't worry, read on and all your questions will be answered.

The old site was a multi-page, database driven behemoth using a PERL coded backend with plenty of JavaScript for good measure. There will no longer be any of that, now there is exactly one page, this one. All the necessary information is here, just keep scrolling down. Thanks for visiting and enjoy the new maulers.com!

It's been said the Maulers are "the greatest band that never was" and that sums it up quite well. The Maulers are fairly well known in and around the Quincy, IL area where, as an air band, they would occasionally perform while never playing a note of actual music. The story of the Maulers is really the story of a group of friends that grew up in Quincy, IL in the 1970s and are still friends today- we're talking 50+ years.

Early details of the Maulers are bit foggy- probably due to beer, Jack Daniels, Boone's Farm, cannabis and all of us now being in our sixties. However, at a recent gathering, the genesis was discussed, and although we don't agree on every detail, we do agree that without the Maulers we probably wouldn't be the close group of friends we are today.

In 1980, one of these friends (guess which one) bought a video camera system. This was a big deal because it cost $3000 which is about $11,000 in 2024 dollars and his parents had to co-sign the loan. This was not a camcorder that would become popular later in the decade, but a fairly large camera which connected via cable to a heavy tape deck which you wore over your shoulder. It was put to good use by videotaping sketches and short films with such catchy titles such as "Creatures From the Creek" and "Wrath of the Spleen Manglers."

Another of the friends was a drummer (again, guess which one) and there was a room in his house with a drum kit and other instruments lying around. Someone suggested we should videotape ourselves pretending to play some music and AC/DC's Back in Black (released July 1980) was chosen. Three songs were recorded and it's agreed they were: "Back in Black", "You Shook Me All Night Long" and "Have a Drink on Me" which are the first three songs on side two of the album. At the conclusion of the recording session, the guy on the bass said "So, what do we call this? The Maulers?" Sadly, this first performance was eventually taped over, perhaps with an episode of Gilligan's Island, but the Maulers had their beginning.

Although the first performance was a year or so away, it didn't stop the friends from creating content for the Maulers. A logo was drawn, the band members were given names (more on this below) and titles of songs and albums were created making use of double entendre whenever possible. The clichés, stereotypes and excesses of the rock and roll lifestyle were clearly front and center in the development of the Maulers- it became our parody of all things rock and roll.

You may be thinking- "Gee, this kinda sounds like Spinal Tap." We would agree to an extent, but we thought of it first around 1980 or so which predates the great Rob Reiner film by about four years, so fuck off.

Rock and roll clichés covered off on over the years include smashing guitars, riding a motorcycle onto the stage, guitars that shoot pyro, doing shots on stage and a few minor burns from the pyro effects. Because the Maulers care about their fans, they would sometimes distribute free condoms to the fans using an air cannon. To ensure safe travels home, a "Drive Safely" reminder would be stapled to the front.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, there also had to be pyrotechnics- lots of pyrotechnics.

Peter Thruster (Peter Thrustaciola)- Vocals

We realize it's a juvenile double entendre made up by guys with an average age of about 20 at the time. Now our average age is about 64 and we make no apologies. Pete is a combination of the great front men of rock- Johnson, Tyler, DLR, Halford with an extra helping of Jim Dandy.

Pete and Alex wishing a fan Happy Birthday.

Alex Vas Deferenz- Guitar

Alex and his brother, Eddie Vas Deferenz, were founding members of the Maulers. We absolutely borrowed this from the soundtrack of Monty Python and the Holy Grail where a nuclear scientist named Reginald Vas Deferens is referenced (0:21). Because of this, we would sometimes refer to a certain band as Vas Deferens. It is unknown why the ending "s" was changed to "z" except it looks more bad ass.

Leonard "Bitch" Pastey- Guitar

After the first couple of performances, the friend who was Eddie Vas Deferenz decided his life needed a new direction and no longer wanted to participate. So EVD was retired, written out of the story and replaced with Bitch Pastey. The friend that stepped in to fill the role did not get a choice in the name, it was sort of assigned to him.

Slats Magnum (Andrew Magnuminopoulis)- Bass

Slats came from Slats Grobnik a character created by Mike Royko of the Chicago Tribune and Magnum from Jeff Magnum of the punk band Dead Boys. Magnum P.I. premiered on December 11, 1980 on CBS the show writers were probably fans of the Dead Boys as well. Slats has been described as the "rudest man alive" and he takes great pride in living up to that honor.

Jim Smith- Drums

There is no recollection by anyone on the origin or reasoning why the drummer was named Jim Smith and we have agreed to never discuss it again.

Pictures of Jim Smith are not currently available and it is unclear if his name can legally be on this web site.

Supporting Characters

This is the last known photo of Eddie Vas Deferenz before his disappearance. From the left are: Peter Thruster (crotch enhanced), Deryk St. Derrick, Eddie and Slats Magnum.

If this picture looks somewhat familiar, here's where we got the inspiration.

Over the years other supporting characters were created. One of the nice things about it not being real is you can just make shit up as necessary. It was determined the Maulers needed a production company which became Penisaurus Productions (later Penisaurus Worldwide). Here's a Commercial from 2000.

Again, this was borrowed and repurposed for our own use. Where did it come from? IYKYK. Deryk St. Derrick was added as the Manager of the Maulers and is in charge of the Penisaurus empire and he occasionally fills in when Bitch is absent. He immediately hired his friend Harv Crater as Production Manager and Harv can be spotted at Mauler shows stage right pushing the pyro buttons.

When the Maulers needed a horn section, it was provided by Methane James and the Toxic Flames. When a lounge lizard type was needed for an opening act, we welcomed Tony Riviera (who's performed for hundreds of people) and who can forget about the Maulers two groupies- Inga and Swetlana. Then there's Wolfie Vas Deferenz who performed with his uncle Alex at "The End" in 2021.

Special thanks to the ladies that have appeared as the pregnant Girl Scouts, the Saturday (SAAYTURD) Girls, the Shake Weight Girls, Go-Go Dancers and the St. Mauli Girl.

Before starting the next next section, here's some pictures from the archive.

First, we would like to answer some questions.

Why would you guys continue to do this after all these years? You're not getting any younger, you know. To have fun.

Why would people take time out of their lives to come watch a band that doesn't even really play their instruments? To have fun.

Why would real bands and musicians play for free and agree to be the opening act for a band that isn't real? To have fun.

So we would like to say thank you and acknowledge all the bands and musicians that participated over the years. You were the reason Mauler shows were a success and why so many people showed up. It should be noted that many of these bands/ musicians have played at multiple Mauler events.

Someone once described a Maulers performance as "five guys pretending to play music during a fireworks display." While there is a truth to that, we would like to think we did it quite well and probably better than anyone else has ever done it (if anyone else has ever done it). At one show at Lloyd's in the late 90's attendance reached around 1000 people and in Quincy, you could very well run into someone wearing a Maulers t-shirt or maybe a fan from Quincy on vacation in Florida.

It's rewarding to know that so many people got the joke, appreciated the humor and had a good time at Mauler events over the years. Knowing people appreciated what we were doing helped us continue even as we became sexagenarians (Alex thinks this means sexy people that don't eat meat). This website serves as an online tribute to the Maulers, all the real bands and musicians that performed and everyone who attended over the years. Thank you!

Contact the bastard responsible for this website at: themaulersrock@gmail.com